Oh I know the value of networking. A lot of guys won’t try to be friends with someone that’s not into them and they miss out on something great. The big one being a friend. For a lot of women, not having women friends is a big red flag and some guys just don’t bother.

It is no bother at all, thanks for checking in.

I am surprised you found this thread considering how long its been. Unfortunately, she is not into me. However, we became really great friends and hang out a lot. So there is that.

Sci fi or not, I kinda want them to get this one figured out ahead of time. It is kinda like assuming that a convicted felon could never be President. You wouldn’t think that rule would need to exist because come on, how could a country possibly want to elect a convicted felon? Its a completely ridiculous notion that could absolutely never happen.

There is a common circle jerk for sure. Humans gonna human, it happens everywhere. However the question was honest if a bit rude sounding.

It isn’t really about edginess. People tend to continue believing in whatever religious preference (or none) they have unless something convinces them otherwise in whatever direction.

To an atheist’s point of view, it legitimately doesn’t make sense why someone would be religious when what they see is nonsense. It is a genuine confusion and not necessarily meant to be rude.

This isn’t just an atheist thing that happens, religious people can often not understand why someone would ever choose anything other than their religion. It doesn’t make sense to them either.

Edit: after a deep conversation with her I am beginning to think what I suggested is probably a bad move and I should just stick to the course you recommended. She told me she likes me because of how I act and the things I do and and most important to this conversation, the things I don’t. She doesn’t believe I have any ulterior motives. Which I am not sure that is the case as I am interested, but I guess I will not ask her. That seems like it would just kill our current relationship. If it happens at all, it will just be natural.

Looks like you were right, she definitely feels frustrated about being doubted and made to feel stupid. Hasn’t given specifics yet, but I am sure I can get her talking at some point. She said she appreciates being able to bounce ideas off of me without worrying about the above. Good start I would say.

If this shit is what women have to deal with constantly, I am not surprised there are so few of them in my field. Why can’t we all just get along?

I would like to say you have been very helpful and I think have settled on taking your advice. No matter how this ends, I could still end up with a good friend. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be a bit disappointed though. However, that’s life and she has no obligation to me.

Also I have no idea who the guy was or what role he played to her. I assumed it was a lower level employee but you bring up a good point there.

She was working on some self assigned homework. So it was not work related.

1. She is in a higher position than I am, I just have a skillset she doesn’t.

2. As far as I know, that is not the case.

I already got together with her outside of work on non-related work tasks.

Yeah, if I had to guess, she is currently trying to figure out what she wants. Or I could be completely wrong and the girl is just hungry for Linux knowledge. Which is also great because we need more of those kind of people.

Lol, I was hoping someone would get my reference.

This is a very good take. She had told me that she feels imposter syndrome and that she enjoys talking to me. It would also explain some of her behavior. As I work in the tech field, just about everyone has imposter syndrome, so I reassured her that she is great at her job and she’s got this. She really is good at it and I hope she knows it.

I don’t think she is using me in a malicious manner, I mean, I did technically offer that I would teach her. I was just surprised she took up the offer.

Although you reminded me of something. A week prior to me meeting her, one of my coworkers was learning under her when he went to go help out. Apparently a guy came up to her while this happened and asked her out. She turned him down for the reason it would be inappropriate for her to date someone where there is this power dynamic.

My coworker told me this and that might be the nail in my coffin. However, it is also possible she just used it as an excuse to not have to deal with turning him down more harshly. I could believe both things. Hense more confusion, why make an exception to hang out with me then?

I agree.

That doesn’t even make any sense, I don’t work for her. I just offered to help. Even if she did need to talk to me, she would use teams chat as electronics are not allowed in the area, only work laptops. I didn’t mention that earlier because it didn’t seem necessary.

I also am hourly so nobody calls me when I am not working. She also isn’t using it for that purpose either.

This girl is playing 4D chess while I am trying to figure out how to get in the door.

I appreciate both of your advice.I think you are right about the confidence thing. I will need to increase that. I just don’t understand why she would set the idea her doing her own thing and then immediately abandoning it if she didn’t need to do it in the first place.

If she is willing to ask for my number and meet me on my off days to chat, it is not a stretch to want to see what her motivations are and if they match my own. In our case it would likely be more frowned upon than firable. That’s a chance I am willing to take if she is.

Also we don’t really work together so she is not my boss. I just happened to help out for a short time. She may never see me at work again for all I know.

She is a lot of fun to be around so I would still want to be friends. Pulling the bandaid off is probably the best course of action. Although I am wondering if I should try to increase her fondness of me first to improve my odds.

Congrats, you hit the nail on the head. I am panicked because I have never met someone like her who also happens to be heavily interested in similar topics as myself. In my panic to not fuck up, it has a real great chance of leading to the thing I was trying to prevent.

Fortunately, I am self aware enough to not cause problems while talking to her. I am actually fairly decent with my social skills as I think that’s what got me here in the first place. It is the time in between seeing her that has me worried. My mind starts to wander into intrusive thought territory.