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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 31st, 2023

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  • The grass is always greener on the other side. The life described does not exist in 50-150k cities. I live in a 500,000 population small city 40 minutes outside of a major one. I used to live in the major one. Everything you described about “city life” is what I miss about living downtown in a major city because I don’t have it here. Even within the major city’s limits, it’s only close to downtown that those city living benefits actually exist on a scale to be useful for more than just a couple errands.

    Most casual convos with strangers I’ve had have happened on public transport but again, only in the major city. The small city public transport is used by people too drunk or poor afford a car, because a car is necessary, and aren’t in the mood to chat (I’m too poor to drive, I don’t want to chat in the gross, mismanaged hour long bus trips to go somewhere it takes 15 minutes to drive to). In the real city it’s used by everyone because it’s faster and lazier than driving. People who are good at public transport don’t work for small cities. And that’s true for most things, especially the city government. Good city councilors and employees get better paying work in nicer places if they can. The small city and everything in it is left being run by people not good enough to make it elsewhere.

    Your family is right. Unless you move to the downtown core of a city most people in the world have heard of, you still need to do everything you still do except there’s less nature and character and more grumpy assholes who wish they lived in a smaller town or bigger city.








  • Cagi@lemmy.catoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlAttitude to Religion and its believers.
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    3 months ago

    That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you don’t need to be an asshole to disagree. You don’t need to “tear down” beliefs and “not play nice”. Being rude to people for being wrong just makes them dig deeper into being wrong out of defensiveness. It isn’t about edification, it’s about finding an excuse to be mean.

    That said, other people’s education is not my responsibility. Taking the time and energy required to correct a random stranger about what shape the earth is isn’t going to change the world but it will take a toll on me. Being wrong doesn’t make them a bad person. Being a jerk to them for believing so does. Believing in a flat earth a symptom of fundamentally flawed reasoning skills that I don’t have the time or energy to deal with. If someone believes the earth is flat, I’ll politely disagree and state my opinion, but ultimately I’ll let them do them. Who cares. I choose my friends, they won’t make the cut.





  • Marriage is the intention of having a lifelong partnership. Romance is not necessary to love and support a partner, it’s just what’s most common. A fairy wedding sounds delightful.

    Are you saying you and she would be legally married with witnesses and papers or you just want the ceremony and celebration without the paperwork? If the latter, be aware there might be grounds to make you common-law partners without your consent, I’d check those laws out.

    Besides that, if you want her to be your beastie-partner-faux-wife, I’d still do a trial run of living together. Maybe even talk to a relationship counselor for tips to keep this sustainable. Any relationship that close, even platonic ones, take work and have conflict from time to time. You need all the same interpersonal strategies as any other spousal or life partnership arrangement. Living with someone and supporting eachother is still quite an intimate, complex affair, even without the sex and romance.




  • Their justification is that they need the PSN to moderate the community; right now they can’t ban anyone, and only didn’t launch with this requirement because it wasn’t ready. But now the temporary grace period is ending. You need to agree to terms and services by signing up for PSN, including PSN codes of conduct they enforce in every game. Without that, they can’t ban you for conduct you didn’t agree to.

    The counter argument is that they didn’t make it clear enough that this was an eventuality, and that they could and should find alternate means to moderate their PC community that doesn’t exclude so many players.

    I suspect this is more about policing third party monetization than community moderation.