Hey dude, I’ve been looking for you for so long, since my Dad stole your bike and that was a turning point in my life, since I made a point of stealing your son’s bike.
It is said that this will continue for generations until the seventh son of a seventh son, who’ll transform into an upside down toothless vampire who likes garlic.
In order for this prophecy to come true, please ensure all your progeny keeps buying bikes.
PS Welcome to Lemmy!
Off topic shout out: why not Chaco sandals for home and/or for going out?
It’s off topic, but OP mentioned having used sandals, so he can maybe consider them a good option