While accusing Bender of cheating on her with two prostitutes:

Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I will!

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

Or

Why couldn’t she be the other kind of Mermaid? With the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?

I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Your mouth just wrote a Paypal request tranfser that your butt has insufficient funds to honor.

Fascist governments are great for business. Look at the growth of private enterprise under the Nazis and Fascist Italy.

Anyone know a way I’ll be able to watch streams of NHL games after they’re finished? I’m in the UK and can’t realistically watch games that start at 3am. Waiting to see the inevitable price rise now that nhl.tv is going to dazn and I miss the days of Lazyman.

One of my favourite things to do online is browse the comments of their torrents looking for the people saying “you’re so pretty” etc