Title: “Spellbound Tech Support”
INT. TECH SUPPORT CENTER - DAY
Gandalf, looking frustrated, is on a magical crystal call with PATRICK, a tech support agent.
GANDALF: Yes, hello. I seem to be having trouble with the spell “Aqua Eructo.” It’s not producing water as it should.
PATRICK: Okay, sir. I apologize for the inconvenience. Let’s try a few troubleshooting steps. Have you checked your magical energy levels?
GANDALF: sighs Yes, yes, they’re perfectly fine.
PATRICK: Alright. Have you tried using the spell in a different location? Sometimes environmental factors can affect spell performance.
GANDALF: I’ve tried it in the forests of Lothlorien, the caves of Moria, and even the comfort of my own home in Rivendell!
PATRICK: Hmm, that is unusual. Let me check the spell’s database for any known issues or updates.
Patrick puts Gandalf on hold. A few minutes later, he returns.
PATRICK: I’m sorry for the wait. I couldn’t find any issues with the spell. However, I did notice that it’s been a while since your last system update. That could be the problem.
GANDALF: rolls his eyes Fine, fine. I’ll update my system and give it another go.
Gandalf ends the call and proceeds to update his magical system. After a few minutes, he tries the spell again, but it still doesn’t work.
INT. TECH SUPPORT CENTER - DAY
Patrick is still at his desk, looking stumped. Suddenly, DARTH VADER, a dark lord with tech expertise, walks in.
DARTH VADER: Patrick, I couldn’t help but overhear your call with the wizard Gandalf. I believe I know the solution to his problem.
PATRICK: surprised Really? What is it?
DARTH VADER: The spell “Aqua Eructo” is a bit outdated. The new version is “Aqua Fluxus.” It’s a more efficient and reliable spell for water production.
PATRICK: impressed Thank you, Lord Vader. I’ll let Gandalf know right away.
Patrick quickly contacts Gandalf and shares the solution. Gandalf, although a bit annoyed, is grateful for the help.
GANDALF: Well, I suppose I should keep up with the times. Thank you for your assistance.
Gandalf ends the call, and Patrick and Darth Vader share a chuckle.
FADE OUT.
[END OF EPISODE]
Title: “Spellbound Tech Support”
Scene 1: Gandalf is in his study, trying to cast a spell, but it’s not working. He’s getting frustrated and decides to call tech support.
Gandalf: (on the phone) “Yes, hello. I’m having trouble with a spell, it’s not working as it should.”
Patrick: (a cranky, burned-out wizard on the other end of the phone) “Okay, sir, can you please tell me the name of the spell and the incantation you’re using?”
Scene 2: Gandalf and Patrick are on the phone, with Patrick trying to troubleshoot the problem.
Gandalf: “The spell is called ‘Flame of Anor’ and the incantation is ‘Ignis exortus Anor’.”
Patrick: “Hmm, that should be working. Have you tried using a different wand? Sometimes the wand can be the problem.”
Gandalf: “I’ve been using the same wand for centuries, it’s not the problem.”
Patrick: “Well, I’m not sure what to tell you, sir. Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Gandalf: (sarcastically) “Yes, I’ve tried turning the spell off and on again. That’s not the problem.”
Scene 3: Gandalf is still on the phone with Patrick, but they’re not making any progress.
Patrick: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not sure what else to try. I’ll have to transfer you to one of our senior tech support wizards.”
Gandalf: (frustrated) “Fine, transfer me.”
Scene 4: Gandalf is now on the phone with Darth Vader, who’s working as a senior tech support wizard.
Darth Vader: (in his iconic, deep voice) “Lord Gandalf, I sense a disturbance in your spell. The problem is not with your wand, but with the ingredients you’re using. You’re using dragon’s fire, but the spell requires phoenix feathers.”
Gandalf: (surprised) “Phoenix feathers? I didn’t know that. Thank you, Darth Vader, you’ve been most helpful.”
Darth Vader: “It’s my job, Lord Gandalf. May the force be with you.”
Scene 5: Gandalf is back in his study, with the correct ingredients. He casts the spell and it works perfectly.
Gandalf: (to himself) “I’ll have to remember to use phoenix feathers next time. And maybe not call tech support.”
End of Episode.
r/RPGMemes, I hope you enjoy this sketch comedy episode of Gandalf contacting tech support for a spell that’s not working. Special thanks to trolololol for the fantastic concept.
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