Checking in from NZ, sounds familiar to me

I mean, yes. In some cases on some issues, some people get offended at things that are frankly a waste of anger.

Agreed. Though I’m not sure how this is a good example, as the PR just fixed it without any anger or offence taken.

Then, there was anger after the PR got rejected because apparently being inclusive to women is ‘political’. This is where you can see that the maintainer didn’t just make a mistake, they made a choice and are sticking with it for reasons. This is where it becomes an issue.

Ah, women are just choosing to be unreasonably offended by the patriarchy. Got it.

Also - this wasn’t even about someone being offended. It was a quiet PR to fix a grammatical mistake, and the reason given was simple and correct: the pronoun used was needlessly non-inclusive. It’s everyone else who has an issue with this that seems to be offended, in my opinion

Right, so continue that thought into why you wouldn’t be affected by it.

Perhaps you wouldn’t actually feel quite so unwelcome in an education role as women might in STEM. I did a quick google to see if teaching was as female-dominated as STEM is male-dominated, and while yes it’s very close, hilariously the first result was about how there is still a gender based wage gap issue even though it’s so dominated in the other direction… Interesting.

So while you might think you can really put yourself in their shoes by imagining yourself in a teaching role, now try imagining yourself as a woman in a male-dominated field, in a male-dominated society, in a male dominated world. Could be a little bit different, maybe

That’s great! Same here, to be honest. But I also realise why it doesn’t affect me, because as a man I’ve never felt unwelcome in these spaces purely on account of my gender.

Kind of like how as a white guy, I wouldn’t really feel much other than a bit of surprise if someone called me a cracker. I haven’t felt oppression and prejudice connected to that word, or any other that is to do with my whiteness. But I do NOT then turn around and say “well why are people upset about being called n-words? They should just move on with their day like I can!”

So, not ‘exactly this’. I wrote that in my example an assumption had been made, whether I intended it or not.

Same as in the documentation this post is about, therefore the problem existed before it was pointed out.

The grammatical error to be fixed was the assumption in the language used. Both of these things are true. Pointing it out very simply, as part of providing the reason for the change, is completely normal

Ah OK, I think we’re getting to the heart of why you are saying that this wasn’t an issue.

When you say that the author wasn’t assuming anything, what exactly do you mean? If, for example, I write in a guide that if a user of my software does ‘a’ then he can expect result ‘b’, do you disagree that I am assuming my users go by he/him pronouns?

I might not have done it with intention, but there is an assumption being made there. Words mean things.

You seem very, very sure of there being “LITERALLY” no problem with the gendered pronoun being used for an unknown user.

Instead of hand-waving it away as the author being male and just prefering his own pronouns in his writing, we could maybe consider where it is being written and why it might feel particularly non-inclusive? ie: a field that has historically been very intentionally uninviting to women?

Also, it’s not like this was someone petitioning for a boycott over one assumed pronoun, they just quietly fixed the grammar and submitted the change. Absolutely nothing idiotic about it.

Counterpoint - almost all jobs will have elements of this type of stressful fuckery. Use it as a learning experience, and do your best to navigate the constraints while maintaining professionalism and value to your employer.

It’s a balance; if it’s truly soul destroying then your health and happiness is more important, get out. However, the more you learn how to deal with this, the less likely you are to burn out in other jobs when they get shit like this. Not so that you can just suck it up and grind away for awful bosses, but so that you can give yourself the maximum options for you, and stress less while going through it.

You already seem to have the right mindset about trying to do this right, so the one thing I’ll say is this: everything in writing, straight away. It’s easy to get too relaxed about this when it’s all going smoothly, but then something catches you out and it’s too late (eg already been told not to bring it up again).

This part will feel awkward, but to protect yourself, you need to send your boss an email summarising your conversation and your understanding of the outcome (not updating). Frame it as a “I hear you, and I apologise for my previous insistence” if it helps smooth things over, but just make sure it outlines your previous queries and suggestions and their response to you. It’s the only way to cover your own butt in these situations, and it’s a great habit to get into after every conversation that has decisions or changes etc. Put it in writing as a summary: you can refer back to it later and it let’s the other person know you understood their position / instruction

Yeah, definitely more about the tone and narrative for me, so I’d go with that plan and see it through!

Ahhh I wanted to love it, it’s one of my favourite scifi concepts explored really well, but I wish the big plot points at the end were told in the opposite order. Feel like it would have hit way harder, for me anyway

TW: suicide

Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a ‘funny’ video with a subject line of ‘always search your detainees’ or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last ‘exhale’ after dying. Fucked me up for a while.

In short, don’t stand for this shit. It’s no joke how much it can affect you if you aren’t desensitised already, especially if you aren’t expecting it.

I only get half of the references in it, but it’s enough… Big feels, every time.

It was my first real Sci fi book haha. Definitely a struggle but I was hooked once I started grasping even a sense of what was going on in the conceptory at the beginning.

From there, I understood what I understood, and let the other concepts flow over me in a way. Sometimes they’d click once I was a few chapters deeper and something that was discussed earlier came into effect and I’d go back and re read, other things made more sense when I read the whole thing again years later.

Reading it, I definitely didn’t get the full intended effect that someone with more knowledge would have, but it still managed to stick with me for decades now and absolutely shaped my Sci fi tastes

Not quite what you’re after but I absolutely love Diaspora by Greg Egan.

It’s a different take on the same issues you’re asking about (not at first, but it’s not really a spoiler to say that it explores them whether or not it’s as necessary as your examples state), a take that leans more into different forms of existence rather than supporting our current existence in a different environment (but touches on aspects of that too, kind of). It’s mega-multi-generational while also not being that at all, depending on perspective.

Not quite what you’re asking, but I once fell asleep on a long haul flight listening to a Cinematic Orchestra album with some very comfy headphones.

I woke up to a little filler / ambient track that is mostly silence with a ship’s fog horn blown a few times… The cabin was dark, most people were asleep or quietly watching movies, and my half asleep brain forgot I was wearing headphones. I went from confused to creeping panic about what this horn meant and why no on else was reacting to it until I finally woke up properly

The universe is, and we are.

Oh hell yes

The suspense is killing me…

While it’s cool to show concern for someone who might need to hear some words of encouragement for getting help (well, minus the scare tactics of a dead relative story), you seem to have conflated this poster’s description of the ‘pattern’ a night out drinking can take with a ‘pattern’ of problem drinking every day, or far too often at least.

What they described is perfectly familiar to me, someone who drank to a level of bad hangover on occasion when I was young and having dumb fun with friends. As I got older, that type of fun got less important and the amount I drink came down to a drink or two, rarely, when I can afford a nice whisky or something.

Basically, someone recognising how a night of social drinking can turn into a hangover isn’t necessarily the cry for help you seem to have read it as