The other day some guy was walking his dog outside in the city. The dog took a shit, and the guy just kept walking. I made eye contact but didn’t say anything. Just shook my head and kept walking.

We were heading in the same direction and after a bit I got to my destination and stopped. He stopped a little ahead and let his dog take another shit. He looked back at me and said something like “you wanna pick this one up? Coward.”

I don’t know but for that moment I was emotionally ready to murder him. He’s literally making the world a shittier place, and for nothing. I don’t want that kind of selfish shithead just walking around without consequences.

Well, lucky for me I’m not armed and have impulse control. He was bigger than me and I don’t know how to fight. I yelled at him that he’s a shithead or something inarticulate, and he laughed and kept walking.

Fuck that guy. I hope he gets hit my a truck and bleeds out in a shit filled ditch.

In one of my old groups, I’d usually verify the player and I understood each other , and they understood the likely consequences. Like, “You can shoot her, but remember this is her club, with her friends , and she’s a vampire so she probably won’t die. But if you want to roll, it’s at -4 from her Celerity you’ve seen her use.”

One player was always like “you never let me do anything!”

I was like you can do it, but I don’t want you to be surprised and mad if there are consequences.

Another player, by contrast, would listen to me clarify what was likely to happen, and be like “cool bro let’s do it.”. We still talk about the time his character jumped out a 20 story window to save his friend’s girlfriend. Great player. Took a lot of damage, as warned, but lived.

I’ve always had trouble finding players, not DMs, but yeah could be.

I feel like if you’re going to get a group that shows up on the regular you might as well just play regular DND?

Yeah, I mostly play Fate or nWoD. But a lot of people are really emotionally invested in D&D, so sometimes I think of ways to try to trick them into playing something different while they think they’re still playing D&D.

no different than taking a bunch of books you bought second-hand and throwing them into a blender.

They didn’t buy the books. They took them without permission.

I bet some obsessive nerd has converted DND to point buy (like wod, gurps, etc) instead of class and level based.

You get XP for stuff, and you can spend that as you like on all the stuff you’d get from leveling. Follow the recommended route and get a standard looking fighter. Or go crazy and buy nothing but hit dice. Or make a glass cannon by buying all the sneak attack dice and second attack (in case you miss) and nothing else.

Or, per this meme, buy superiority dice and maneuvers, and then also buy extended crit from champion.

It would be a mess. I think part of why dnd is popular is its comparably small decision space. There’s just not a lot of room to fuck up your character

DND 5e (the rules the game is based on) is a weird system, mostly forgiving.

Your stats matter a lot. The bonus from stats only goes up on even numbers. A 10 is +0. An 11 is +0. A 12 is +1. Yes, this is crazy.

You can only improve your stats every 4 levels, where you can choose to get +2 stat points (or take another bonus from a list, but most of them aren’t worth the opportunity cost)

Different classes and backgrounds have different “proficiencies” in skills and equipment. Your wizard can’t function well in heavy armor. The game will tell you if you put on something you can’t use. Pay attention to it, otherwise you might end up wondering why you can’t hit anything or cast your spells.

The game expects you to long rest in camp a lot. Even though the story suggests otherwise and it says resources are limited, don’t worry too much about it. A lot of story beats happen in camp, and most of the game isn’t really time sensitive. Dnd’s balance is kind of stupid imo in that it expects you to do like 6 encounters before resting, and that typically means (after low level) only the last one is a challenge. Rest as often as you need to. Blow your spells. Don’t be like me and hold onto them until you finish the whole map.

You can respec for cheap pretty early on, too. Can’t change your species or background but you can change your stats and class.

I made a rogue bird-guy (aarakroka?) that built for strength. I really wanted to pick someone up with grapple and fly them off a cliff, but i never pulled it off.

Oh I’ve seen this joke before, slightly better, but now I don’t know which was the original.

It was like

Bard: I cast vicious mockery

Dm: cool. What do you say to him?

Bard: “You’re none of your best friends’ best friend”

Dm: …

Other players: …

Bard: So do I roll damage or…?

Dm: No… No, he’s dead.

Oh yeah. Cars are bad on like every metric.

Socially they isolate people. You don’t interact with anyone when you’re driving except to get angry. The micro interactions you have on the train matter. Seeing people that aren’t just like you, also annoyed that the train is delayed, or just having a nice time with their kids, matters. More than makes up for when other people are annoying.

Economically they hurt. It’s much harder to just pop into an interesting looking shop when you’re cruising along at 40mph. All the space dedicated to parking could be used for other stuff- housing, commerce, communal space, whatever.

They make spaces less safe. Other than the direct impact (no pun intended) of people getting hit by cars, or crashing into stuff, a space that has steady foot traffic is generally safer. If everyone was in their car instead, you’d probably be alone on foot with no one to help if something happened.

They’re bad for the environment. Air pollution, micro plastics, whatever.

Drunk driving is way more dangerous than drunk “riding the train”.

The more non-car options are built out, the better it will be for people who need to drive for whatever reason.

Cars culture is trash and if we ever escape from it, it’s going to take years.

Ed Zitron wrote a blog post I’ve been thinking about, where he said that a lot of decisions are made by “business idiots” now. People that don’t really use or understand the product, and don’t really understand the users or their needs. It’s an interesting read, even though the guy is rather verbose: https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-era-of-the-business-idiot/

dangit i was going to make the same pun. well done.

My old pandemic D&D group was the best. They cared about everything. But I remember specifically one time they arrived at a large party. I was describing the scene- large tables set with food, small groups of people mingling, and off in the corner you see a man talking to a woman, her back is against the wall and he’s got his arm on the wall so he’s kind of trapping her there. She looks uncomfortable.

The players all beelined to those two to rescue the NPC from the guy. Oh, Pretty Paul. They hated him so much. Such a good villain. (Started as a riff on Handsome Jack, and it worked so well. One of the players wrote a song about how much they hated Paul)

Order of the Stick is so good, and has such surprising emotional depth for a stick figure comic about D&D.

Just be aware that the updates are intermittent.

I remember once my players spent like 15 minutes discussing how to get across a 10 foot long puddle of water in a cave.

Eventually I had to remind them that 10’ isn’t that far, and you can RAW jump your strength score in feet with a running start. They didn’t need to build a bridge or cut into the walls. They could also just go into the water, but I understand not wanting to submerge yourself in cave water when you don’t know what’s down there.

I think they said because she was a mutant, the clone lab won’t work on her. All the other party members are humans.

But like she’s a mutant the whole time, and it only comes up when she plot-dies.

(This is from memory, so I might be wrong.)

It’s a good game if you like old timey jrpgs. The dungeons are full on mazes.

Phantasy Star 2 has a named NPC die and it has a weird excuse why you can’t revive her at the clone labs, even though you could just fine up to that point.

Also when everyone else was like “omg no character has died in an RPG before” youth me was sitting there like “is phantasy star a joke to you?”

As the title says, moderation is key. If the game is just “whatever is the most convincing right now” then I’m going to be annoyed that I sat down to play D&D/fate/gurps/whatever, and we’re mostly playing improv. It’s important to set expectations in or before session 0.

If I was looking to join a game, and the GM was like “We’re all about the rule of cool”, I’d probably ask for some examples. If it’s like “we let the [D&D 5e] wizard cast as many spell as he wants” then I’m not joining, because that’s going to fuck up the game balance. On the other hand if it’s like “we don’t really care about carry weight unless it’s extreme”, that’s fine.

Stuff in the middle, like “one time we let them use create water in the bad guy’s lungs to drown him!” can go either way, but I’m usually not a fan. Mostly if I ask myself “if this works, why doesn’t the whole setting revolve around it?” and don’t have a good answer, I won’t enjoy it. Like, if everyone could do lethal damage with a cantrip, or if the “peasant railgun” worked like the joke, or “we let the real life chemical engineer make napalm and mustard gas as a 1st level rogue for massive damage”, then that probably isn’t for me.

I don’t think I know anyone who’s cheated. But I also hang out with a lot of polyamorous people, where cheating is possible but I feel like is less common.