Undeath?

Embrace the wisdom of the immortal’s experience, you little shit.

Buzzkill DM: Locusts, even under the loose control of a druid, are not intelligent enough to be “willing” to be transformed, so they can’t be targeted by animal shapes, rules as written.

Better DM: That’s cool as hell. Do it.

Best DM: I’ll allow it, but you better start watching the skies from here on out. If you can do it, then the enemy can too.

Does it have to be an individual fey? Could it be an entire coven? Could be interesting to have your warlock be the charge of, say, the Hourglass Coven. They each distrust each other and want to get one up on the others all the time, so they could each be using you to fuck with the other two all the time, essentially giving you carte blanche to do as you want as long as you are constantly a thorn in the side of all 3.

Could even flavor your spells to take on the aspects/traits of one of the three, like that individual hag has given you that specific spell. Divination and control magic from Endelyn with something like suggestion or hold person controllingthrough puppet strings. Skabatha can give you summoning spells and enlarge/reduce with all effects appearing like wood carved toys. Bavlorna gives you all necrotic magic and polymorph with the forms they take looking like stitched together Frankenstein-esque monstrosities.

Or maybe your Patron is specifically Baba Yaga, but she tasks you with being the Hourgalss Coven’s errand boy while also being her eyes and ears on her daughters’ activities.

A ranger whose favored enemy is Dragons could probably find the egg without much effort. Not sure you want them to though if you don’t want the egg scrambled.

I hope all the dems that were supporting her in her 2020 run now see how completely foolish you were. This woman went from endorsing Bernie Sanders in 2016, to defecting from the Democratic party in 2022, to wanting to run alongside Donald Trump in 2024. Whether she is a Russian asset trying to undermine the leftist vote or just a completely wishy washy, backboneless, political- platform-changes-with-the-weather sort of politician, you should not be voting for her.

Made me think of Daniel Tosh’s bit about polite tourette’s. An uncontrollable impulse, but pleasant.

Yep. I sure did. Turns out, it’s actually worse than a ring of protection.

Yeah, best case scenario, It’s mathematically the same as a +1 AC bump in that one more value of the d20 attack roll would be a miss than would be without it. Except the extra roll value is between 6 and 15 points above what would currently hit your AC, which is worse. If they already have to roll middling to very high in order to hit you, that 6-15 points could be higher than it’s possible to roll without criting (i.e. >19)

Even assuming your AC is abysmal, like 10, if you roll a 10 on the die, you now get misses on a roll plus modifiers of 1-9 and 25 (excluding crits). If the attacker has total modifiers of 5 or less to hit, that 25 isn’t doing anything at all as they either couldn’t hit it or would crit to hit it. So in order to keep your extra point relevant, you would want to save a low roll, ideally a 1, for an extra point 6 points above your AC. But even that gets less useful the higher your AC is. Too high on either your AC or your roll and you have the same problem, the ring does nothing.

This ring is maximally effective the lower your AC is. And even then, best case scenario, it has the total effectiveness of a +1 to AC.A ring of protection already provides you that mathematical advantage. Plus ring of protection is less rare.

That’s the most broken thing I’ve ever seen. Even before the “you get to keep the previous roll into perpetuity if you want” bit. Rolled a 10? Cool. You could run into battle wearing only magnets that attract weapons and arrows alike and still bounce them off your flesh like Superman… forever.

Edit: I misread the text. My bad. No supermanning here. In fact, looks like it’s a significantly worse ring of protection with a higher rarity.

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This isn’t even ambiguous. You’re wrong. They are 100 percent correct. And you clearly didn’t even bother reading the spell before A) telling your player they were wrong and B) asking people on the internet for their opinion. There is no opinion to be had. The spell description explicitly defines what happens in this case in no uncertain terms. In your example, if the polymorphed snail with 1 hit point took 6 points of damage, they lose the 1 point, revert to their original form with the same hp they had when they were polymorphed, and then they take the remain 5 points of damage. If they are above 0hp after that, they’re still up. If they’re not, they are unconscious/dead (depending). The health pool of the polymorphed form is essentially mechanically identical to temporary hit points, except when those points run out, you change form.

Polymorph is not, and was never intended to be, an easy mode spell. If it worked the way you suggested, polymorph would make every single fight completely trivial. You could drastically reduce the health of a collosal beast by turning it into a fruit fly and kill it immediately with a cantrip. That would make any enemy a two hit kill. That’s not the point of the spell. If you polymorph a Kraken into a guppy, you want to leave that guppy alone and get away asap. If that guppy gets eaten by a trout… poof. Kraken is back and madder than ever.

Here’s the relevant text from the spell, verbatim:

The target assumes the hit points of its new form. When it reverts to its normal form, the creature returns to the number of hit points it had before it transformed. If it reverts as a result of dropping to 0 hit points, any excess damage carries over to its normal form. As long as the excess damage doesn’t reduce the creature’s normal form to 0 hit points, it isn’t knocked unconscious.

Oh I’m here for this.

"They don’t make them like they used to. " -mending

“I know a guy…” -commune

“Not under my roof…” -banishment

“You call that music? This is music!” -toll the dead

“You see the game last weekend?” -fast friends

“He’s not sleeping. He’s just resting his eyes…” - gentle repose

“Where’d you have it last?” -locate object

“You know I was quite the athlete when I was your age…” -freedom of movement

Hey, Dungeons and Daddies, are you reading this gold?

Fairy cleric. There’s an inappropriate joke in there somewhere.

Yeah, the worst of Trump isn’t limited to what political actions he took as President, but also the wider cultural impact he directly spawned, escalated and continues to propogate even outside of office. He contributed so much to this cultural shift that has provided legitimacy to crooks, crackpots, and literal nazis. And worse, he’s pushed the Republican party to coddle those people, capitulate to their whims, promote their voices, and endorse their views and elections. Not that the Republican party had been respectable in a generation, but 20 years ago, they weren’t publically allied with open fascists, far-right militia groups and domestic terrorists. They are now, though.

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How wide’s that brim, gnome?

This is nowhere near a new meme. I saw it elsewhere much further back than 2 months ago. It is a repost, but not necessarily intentionally recycled from within lemmy. It was an old meme by the time you posted it too. Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (or laziness as this case may be). At least they didn’t claim it was OC.

I can’t speak as to much from personal experience. However, I do know of an extended family member that had a negative respiratory reaction to a weed vape he got online. He survived, but ended up in a coma for a while and suffered serious brain damage from lack of oxygen. He was a talented athlete, and now he will be lucky to walk and feed himself again.

Don’t know if it was tainted product, an allergic reaction, or what, but… I would make sure you can trust the safety of the product itself, ease into use checking to see if you might have a reaction, and maybe be prepared with an epipen or something in case you have a negative allergic reaction.

Just to be clear, I’m not one of those fear mongering “weed kills” types. I’m not a smoker myself, but very much support legalization and responsible recreational use. But I do not trust all of the sketchy companies producing vape products in general, let alone products that are illegal in much of the world.

Everyone always asks “what the hell?” But nobody every asks “how is the hell?”