Not a newt

In half the campaigns, the Doctor Farts PC ends up being the MVP because they weren’t minmaxed and as a result have much more utility.

DM: “The phone rings.”

Player: “I pick it up.”

Cthulhu: “Wasaaaaaaaaaaaaap!”

Player: *Cries blood*

Assets. That’s what I get for trusting the phone keyboard.

Find companies that resell EOL corporate arrest assets like refurb.io

“The fork rejects your advances.”

They misspelled ruin.

Cobalt 60 has a half life of 5.27 years. Assuming that a language lost to time is at least 500 years old, the rod should be fairly safe to handle. Heck, even after only 100 years less than 0.01% of the original amount of radioactive material would be left.

But that aside - One of the items that can be found in the video game series Avernum is Uranium bars, which give you a nice unhealthy glow :)

Sounds like what you want is tracing. OpenTelemetry is the de facto standard for that. Couple it with aggressive sampling (here’s a great talk on it https://www.usenix.org/conference/srecon24americas/presentation/cruz ) and you’ll have a very efficient way of identifying use patterns.