I’ve used Debian, Ubuntu, Mint, and Manjaro. All viable options. I’m currently using Mint on my daily driver, Ubuntu on my HTPCs, and Debian on my servers.

I liked the rolling release aspect of Manjaro, but I missed having a system that works with DEB files. I’m not a fan of flatpak/snap/appimage due to the size (I’ve often had to use slower internet connections). I settled on Mint for my daily driver because it has great and easy compatibility for my hardware (specifically an Nvidia GPU). It worked okay on Manjaro as well, but I’ve found it easier to select and switch between GPU drivers on Mint. And Cinnamon is my favorite DE, and that’s sort of “native” to Mint.

I’m using vanilla Ubuntu on my HTPCs because I have Proton VPN on them, and it’s the only setup I’ve found that doesn’t have issues with the stupid keyring thing. And Proton VPN’s app only really natively supports Ubuntu. The computers only ever use a web browser, so the distro otherwise doesn’t matter that much.

I’m using Debian on my servers because it’s the distro I’m most familiar with, especially without a GUI. Plus it’ll run until the hardware fails, maybe a little longer.

It’d have to be $1 million plus arrangements to move to the EU. If it weren’t for family here, I’d probably take that.

Then sell it to a demolition derby show.

Relevant self-promotion: I created a custom launcher, Mere Launcher, in part to help someone with tremors. This launcher uses no swipe gestures on the home page and the favorites are fairly large by default. Hope it’s useful!

Someone who asks for help with their laptop, then opens it to reveal what appears to be several years worth of snacks smashed into the keyboard and on the screen. No, Doug, I don’t want to drive.

To be fair, I’ll use the more convenient shortcuts (cut/copy/paste, select all, save) that are genuinely easier to do with one hand. But Alt+F4? It either requires two hands or else your hand needs to qualify for Cirque de Soleil to hit it properly. Some of the “standard” keybinds are often more trouble than moving the pointer.

My first (and still my favorite) thing I designed from scratch is my Happy Mug.

Many fines are just a tax on the poor and would fall under this.

I had a buddy who was rich, like fuck-you rich. He’d park his hummer wherever he felt like it (handicapped spots, up on the curb, etc), and every week he’d take his stack of parking tickets and write a cheque.

A lot of wealthy people are like this. They have no concept of what $100 is worth to an average person, and if the only punishment for something is a monetary fine, it’s effectively permissable for them.

Yep, that’s the one.

I tend to get them for quite a long time when it happens. I once had the Oompa Loompa song in my head for a couple months. Rough time.

Now I have young kids, so they change more often now, but they’re all kids songs. A couple of Danny Go songs are currently on repeat in my brain.

If you want something minimalistic, you can try mine: Mere Launcher

I’m fortunate to have a few friends who are similar in that. We met in a religious group context, so that may have helped (this particular group emphasized community and sharing with each other, so attracted people like us). In addition, this group is mostly mixed company (women, men, and non-binary folks), so there were more opportunities to be emotionally open.

For those guys who are a bit more closed off, I find a good “entry point” is compliments and saying things like, “I appreciate you, glad to call you a friend.” Their discomfort will be offset by the positive affirmation (which for these men is often lacking), which may make them open to it. And when you occasionally get the guy that retorts with, “what, are we gonna go dress shopping next?” or something, you can subtly imply that taking a compliment isn’t un-masculine (“man up and take the compliment bro”). Just remember when people push back against that kind of thing, it’s because they feel scared and vulnerable–don’t let it throw you off or push you away.

Finally, if you need some inspiration, watch or read the Lord of the Rings. A bunch of masculine dudes who can kiss their homeboys on the forehead before slaughtering an army of orcs is exactly the type of masculinity the world needs.

Check out GetSimple. It’s a flat file system (so no database to mess with) and can run with just basic PHP (though it’ll guide you through installing modules if you want fancy urls, etc). Super easy to set up. I’ve been using it for years without a hitch.

Yeah, you tend to see the best of humanity during a shared struggle (and sometimes the worst too, but seems more often the better).

Sounds like you’re unfamiliar with love and its expressions. That’s fair, especially if you didn’t have that with your family of origin.

To answer one of your questions: that dynamic where someone depends on you and also takes care of you? That’s pretty normal for a romantic relationship. Give it some time and see how you feel. It’ll probably make you feel vulnerable, because this person has the potential to hurt you, and you them (which is often just as scary). But learning to have that dynamic with someone can be really great, and may help you work through some of your past trauma. And that intensity you’re feeling now will probably feel less intense over time.

A caveat: there is such thing as codependency, as well as manipulation. These are unhealthy things in a relationship, and you’d want to be wary of your partner putting a ton of pressure on you while also ignoring your needs and desires. There should be a good amount of give and take for both of you. If you’re not sure, reach out to anyone you trust, or worst case come here and see what the internet thinks.

To answer another question: no, a romantic relationship is not the only way to have a family, and even very close relationships. I have friends that are closer than most of my family members outside my own household, people I trust and appreciate deeply. These relationships are often formed organically while pursuing other activities, and are often strengthened when you practice those activities together often. If you’re interested in pursuing that type of friendship, look for social gatherings around a passion or hobby, and you may be able to meet people where you feel a similar (though less intense) sense of intimacy.

Final answer: yes, it’s possible (inevitable even) that people change. And sometimes people change in ways that make them incompatible for one another–there’s a reason there’s consistently been about a 50% divorce rate for marriages in the west. Getting into a romantic relationship makes this a possibility (remember how you’re becoming vulnerable in it), but it doesn’t have to be random or a surprise. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you, it’s to communicate with your partner. Effective communication is a skill that takes practice, but it sounds like the woman you’re seeing would probably be open to it. Even if you simply tell her that all of this is new and feels overly intense and you’re not sure how to handle it, but you want to see how things go, she’ll hopefully understand. If you continue to be honest and communicate well with each other, even if you grow apart and the relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll be more likely to part on amicable terms and not be as traumatic (that is, losing a relationship doesn’t have to be painful like you’ve experienced in your past).

Finally, a question for you: why couldn’t you spend the rest of your life with the first person you have a relationship with? Of course you don’t have to, and it doesn’t happen that way often, but I wouldn’t necessarily plan an exit strategy if everything is going well.

In 2003, there was a massive power outage over a big chunk of the midwest. Power was out for about three days. My entire city just kinda… shut down and took a break.

It wasn’t all great–a few elderly folks even died of heat stroke (it was hot, in the middle of summer if I remember right). But there were some positives: the city functioned as a community in a way I’ve never experienced before or since. It felt like we were all on a broken elevator together–a sudden sense of camaraderie in the face of a shared experience.

Most businesses couldn’t function, so everyone was pretty much outside in the parks and at the waterfront, and everyone seemed pretty welcoming to everyone else (they kinda had to be, there were a lot of people out). My dad had a portable generator, so we went around town taking turns at friends’ houses to run their fridges and freezers for a while, and got to just spend time with them.

I don’t expect that the world could function like that all the time, but it was kinda nice for a few days.

I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

Your expectations of other people are unreasonable. Sometimes people intend to do something and they get behind, or maybe they change their mind. In any case, nobody on this project owes you anything, even if you put in… [checks post text] less than two weeks of effort.

Hanging out for twelve days, then posting videos “calling people out” is a dick move, and you earned your ban. It seems like you were looking for reasons to cause drama, but I’ll leave your intentions for you to decide. Spend some time reflecting and trying to see things from their perspective.

There are a lot of different ways to package and publish an APK. If it’s done through the Google Play store, it almost definitely won’t look like a local debug or release build (Google does a lot of things to optimize for different devices).

The best way to check their work is to download the tools and try building it, and see if it’s functionally similar.

It’s not dumb to feel sad about it. Enshittification is sad, especially when you see it from the inside.