Hey, not being judgmental, just curious. Are the games you enjoy more almost entirely combat? Or do you just skip roleplaying stuff like shopping? What would your ideal split be?
My first game I participated in (it ran for several years, with a bit of a ship of theseus situation, by the time it ended the GM and I were the only original ones left) was basically entirely combat. It was a super drag, but that was half 4e’s fault. Tbh it wasn’t good after we swapped to 5e but it was better. I still had fun because, you know, spending time with friends, but I really didn’t enjoy it that much. I started playing with another group of friends and it was almost exactly opposite, almost entirely RP with very little combat for the most part, except for the occasional dungeon delve or something along those lines where it would be mostly combat for several sessions. I really loved that game and it really opened my eyes to how much fun the game could actually be. It’s also really group/dm dependent though.
That game ended, and we’re doing a new one with the same group, but one of the players is now co-dming, intending to do more of the combat while the original dm does more of the roleplay (splitting planning, equally active during sessions). We’re only a couple sessions in but it’s working out really well so far
Absolutely nothing wrong with games like that! I feel you on player vs character charisma, and in backstory hooks and the like. Our DM really likes to hook our backstories into the game, and I frustrate him a little sometimes by usually keeping my background simple. Done right, the backstory hooks into current events, so it’s not a “why are we doing this instead of the main quest” deal. Some of my favorite game memories are of conversations amongst the party characters dicussing what’s going on with those hooks and helping the related character through it. I think it’s really good for me though because our players are really good. We make sure that everyone gets involved, or if someone’s not feeling it tonight we can steer more clear of them. We’re not afraid to hand waive unimportant things, especially if/when the party gets split up. Everyone’s really working together to make sure everyone’s having a good time, and I feel like that’s not as common as it should be.
Nothing against more strategy and combat focused games though! The teamwork is really what makes combat come alive in my opinion, and there’s nothing more satisfying than a well laid plan coming together (except maybe everything going wrong and pulling it off anyways)