That’s awful. hope you were able to remove yourself from that situation, ive dropped all communication from my father.
I speak with my mother as she seems to of turned a leaf but last year I was talking with her about cptsd and she asked if she caused any of it, I was very honest and said she had a small part in (I didn’t live with my mother till my teens but when I moved there-was no heating, food or parenting happening as well as her manipulative/abusive partner I soon choose to sleep on a sofa at my grandparents for the next 8 years) I didn’t call my mother out on this as she started crying a lot and I took back what I said.
Trauma usually breeds trauma and her father was an alcoholic gambling Irish man so I understand that she wasn’t given the best chance in life and she now recognises this. I’m pretty proud of her tbf
Sadly I am on both, discord for friends and projects and matrix for social and projects