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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Groundhog Day is one of my favorites. I like the romance in it but implications of off screen events do a lot of heavy lifting. Phil spends years getting to know Rita, has many intimate conversations with her (e.g. boathouse), invests time into her interests (French poetry), and does this without reciprocation (resets, slaps). While it starts off expecting a payoff, it turns into genuine understanding, admiration, and affection.

    That being said, it is very one-sided. Rita has no reason to fall for him in the single day she experienced even though the audience knows how amazing his change has been. She doesn’t really have an arc and is already a fully developed person, so it feels like she’s just there to help with Phil’s arc.

    I’ve added Map to my list and I’m looking forward to a different type of romance in it, so thank you for the recommendation!


  • My partner is recovering from surgery so lots of couch time has meant some odd choices as of late. Physical 100 is a reality show/contest about mostly Korean strongmen and women doing physical difficult tasks like pushing a wooden boat up a ramp. I don’t envy the editors that have to make two dudes each holding a 100kg stone Atlas style for two hours entertaining, but we ended up watching 8 episodes of it and will be finishing it up soon.

    Also enjoyed The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. It was charming and short, and I really liked some of the special effects feeling like they’re from a play. I’m looking forward to the other ones in the series.


  • Ah, typically it’s DMs that alter mechanics and approve homebrew. If I were running a campaign, and I had a player saying “I want to change the rules so you have to run the game a certain way,” it would be a huge red flag.

    If a player wants to play in a certain way, it’s not usually the mechanics that prevents them. Your example where you picked a ranger that didn’t fit what was going on in the campaign, that seems like a failure of communication. The DM allowed you to think wearing a snorkel in the desert was a good idea. I don’t think having a class with snorkel AND fins would have helped in the desert and I don’t think the fins would have forced the DM to put a river in to suit the diver class. I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unpleasant for the DM to say: this is a dessert campaign, you’re not going to want a 60 pound tank on your back for this even though it’s very helpful in a situation where you’re trying not to drown.

    I don’t think restricting what can be done or changing mechanics would make that DM any better or make communication any less necessary or force the DM to make changes to the campaign.

    Again, it’s best when collaborative and avoiding unpleasant conversations leads to just as many problems in d&d as it does in any relationship. Rules aren’t going to help if there’s not communication.





  • Will they be able to afford their own place and have access to healthcare? I’ve got siblings that have failed to launch even after several attempts. It’s possible this isn’t a failure of parenting.

    But if it is fixable, you may want to check out William Glasser’s writings on the workless (I forget what books of his he writes about it in). Be warned that it’s not mainstream psychology and I don’t generally think that his views on medication and several other things are good, but the specific ideas about how to deal with a household member that doesn’t contribute or take care of themselves might have something useful for you. From what I can remember, it’s things like making ingredients available but not prepared foods so they get into the habit of doing things. (Naturally, this is a super bad idea if there’s a different issue like depression that should be dealt with first.) That may be difficult to do with apps and streaming services where there’s very little between a person and food/entertainment, but you might get some new ideas.



  • I wish I had that luck. I’ve managed to curate a lot of people I can tolerate, but trying to add to that is super hard. A random person I was introduced to managed to complain about immigrants three times in ten minutes to me in front of my POC partner. Another person I am stuck with occasionally breathing the same air with wanted to tell me all of Fox’s talking points on trans people and disagreeing with her was a hateful attack and proved I ALWAYS had a problem with her. It’s so much work to separate wheat from chaff that my search for good people is paused. Hopefully I’ll have the spoons to try more soon, but it’s so draining.