• DearOldGrandma@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’ll bite. I had a brother with special needs pass away a year ago next week. He was born with cerebral palsy, was blind, nonverbal, totally dependent on caretakers (myself, my siblings and mother, his nurses) for literally everything since he didn’t have functionally-independent motor control. We were told he’d live to 10, and he lived to 29; he was a bundle of joy and loved going out when he could. People would stare and kids would ask questions, but we loved sharing his story and my brother liked when people were curious about it.

    But, his health started declining in 2014. He had several close calls, and we told doctors each time to try their best with the circumstances they were given. On more than one occasion, his nurses or our mother would actually be with the doctors during hospital stays to assist with him since he was case they didn’t have much experience in and didn’t want to make his issues worse. That said, he had a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) since he had a trache, and was brittle enough to die from chest compressions.

    I prepped for my brother’s death countless times over 8 years. We all did. When he passed, we were so obviously distraught. But we were also relieved, in a way, that he wasn’t in pain anymore in the end. We let out our emotions that had been stored for those years, and the grieving process is still continuing. We all put our lives on hold to help him, and he just became our lives; our goal simply was to make him comfortable and let him know he was loved, knowing we couldn’t realistically do more. We spent years watching him in pain, watching him gradually lose his fervor and personality.

    If you read this far, thank you. Not really sure what else to say, I just want to share this since it’s occupied my mind a lot.

    TLDR; Preparing for the worst outcomes, coupled with grief, over prolonged periods of time really disrupt your emotions and outlooks. Needless to say, my family became stronger proponents of state-assisted suicide after this experience. It couldn’t be granted to my brother, but maybe we can help people in the future that coupd really use it. People understand, but not nearly as many are truly empathetic because they can’t be - they’ve never been through a similar experience. I simply ask that people try to be sympathetic rather than to pass judgement on others.

    • kromem@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The one cause that I’d champion over all others is the right to have access to assisted suicide.

      It’s really a travesty how we tend to hide just how grisly dying (and in some cases living) can be, and how those who most go through it inherently lose their voices to advocate for others not suffering the same drawn out fate.

      I’m sorry you had to watch as it dragged out.

      My SO is a doctor and the cases that most upset them are not the healthy patients that die, but helplessly watching the unhealthy patients that are forced to drag on living because of various factors.

      We’re getting much better at unnaturally prolonging life, and while that’s a good thing in some cases where it can change outcomes for the better, there’s a very dark side of it as well that’s gradually getting worse.

      Know that it’s not a topic that only you are thinking about, even if it’s unfortunately a topic that is too rarely discussed in public.

    • GFGJewbacca@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I am a hospital chaplain, so I have been with families as their loved ones have died in settings like this. If you want to talk to someone, I’m here for you.

    • fourfouroneone@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I can’t relate nor comprehend your loss. You are so thoughtful and brave to put this out there. Sending lots of love your way.

    • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I understand the weird feeling of relief when someone dies. I know that sounds terrible. My situation was not yours, so I’m not directly comparing. One of my parents had long, slow cancer. Watching them waste away, choosing to fight a symptom or not, was draining and difficult. In one sense, I enjoyed all of those final moments and would give anything to have more. I miss them dearly. However, I’m glad they’re not suffering. It was difficult at the end. Their quality of life was not good.

      • DudeDudenson@lemmings.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah my dad smoked a pack a day his entire life and had started getting a lot of issues with his lungs and health in general. He died of a heart attack not so long ago and while I did grieve him I still feel that’s the best way he could have died

        If only it hadn’t happened on my sister’s birthday but that’s life for you

  • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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    1 year ago

    So, in the fine tradition of using bananas for scale…

    Bananas are slightly more radioactive than the background, due to potassium-40 content. So an informal unit of radiation measure in educational settings is the ‘banana-equivalent-dose’, which is about 0.1 microsieverts.

    My particle spectrometer saw first light today, and I figure that I could use a banana to calibrate it. Then I noticed that K-40 undergoes a rare (0.001%) decay to 40Ar, emitting a positron. So not only is a banana a decent around-the-house radioisotope source, it’s also an antimatter source.

    Truly a remarkable and versatile fruit.

      • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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        1 year ago

        Nice – you wouldn’t happen to have any ideas on how to differentiate positron annihilation, from the continuous distribution of β− energies caused by the more common decay mode, using only a PIN photodiode? I’m a bit stumped on this point and suspect it’s not possible. I probably need to do gamma spectroscopy but would really rather not.

          • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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            1 year ago

            Yeah, that’s going to be too hard. I only have two SiPMs (besides the current detector) and they are expensive. I figured I could maybe rely on the gamma from the annihilation energy being a quite different energy than the gammas from the more common electron-capture.

            However you raise a good point that that would not be a very good demonstration of positron annihilation at all – just evidence that it’s not the other 2 decay modes (and it would take ages to collect that evidence besides). Ah well. Got plenty of other science I can do instead.

            Probably I’ll tackle something easier like checking for radon decay products in petrol.

              • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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                1 year ago

                ‘Not too hard’ is a bit of a spectrum I guess ;)

                I mean yeah, in principle I could cram textbooks for a few months (I know EE and SE pretty well, but particle physics only very basic stuff), order parts made at the factories I know, and would probably succeed eventually. More realistically I’d have to hire a university prof as a consultant to save time.

                What I am really unable to construct is a powerpoint presentation that justifies that expense and labor to management :P

                Especially in a cost-driven market (my company is in Vietnam). Often the parts for these things are export-controlled too, that can be a real pain. I’ve gotten irate phone calls from the US DoD before over fairly innocent parts orders – it’s not super fun. I recall it was some generic diode, I must have stumbled on something with a military application I wasn’t aware of. The compliance paperwork ended up costing me hundreds of dollars for 20$ in parts, too.

                Anyway, if it was something I could just tack on to ongoing research projects, I could maybe get away with it as a marketing expense. It’s for a STEM program. It’s hard enough to convince management to take the risk on a nuclear & quantum module as-is! I can mostly get away with it because the locally-manufactured beta-detectors cost like 20$ per classroom.

    • ∟⊔⊤∦∣≶@lemmy.nz
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      1 year ago

      This is some seriously dangerous information to be feeding me bro.

      Now… to find magnets able to contain the antimatter…

      • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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        1 year ago

        Bananas are not typically very high on the danger scale except in exotic (and universally embarrassing) circumstances.

        In fact, that’s another thing we could use bananas for scale with. Probably driving to work is equivalent to several kilobananas worth of danger daily :)

        Anyway, I think the positron should be about 44keV if that helps you calibrate your magnets. The typical banana should produce something on the order of a positron every 10 seconds (although I used much rounding for the sake of brevity). Most commercial positron sources e.g. used in hospital PET scanners, are many times stronger than that!

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I wouldn’t say nobody, but I would say the people that dominate the area I’m trying to volunteer and work in.

    I work in a healing center where there are 29 women on staff and 1 man.

    I cannot get these people to understand that as much as they want to push forward social movements, which I very much agree with, this must not come at the expense of men who are trying to heal.

    I will literally have counselors co-facilitating with me, who want to make every point about how women are oppressed, pushed down in the workforce, face issues.

    I’m not in denial of those, but no man coming into a healing environment to work on themselves, be vulnerable, and explore their own journey, needs to hear how much men are shitty.

      • Krudler@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It’s insane, I even made a complaint to the director who of course is a woman, and she effectively denied that it was happening or could happen.

        I told her I don’t even want people not to think these things, everybody who is in their own place of trauma has to get their shit off their chest.

        All I wanted was a place where men didn’t have to hear this crap.

        And that’s being incredibly neutral in my opinion because there are a lot of opportunities for men to talk about just how insane and shitty women can be. But I don’t want to talk about those things, I just want them to stop shit talking men especially their own clientele.