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ylai@lemmy.ml to Technology@lemmy.mlEnglish · 1 year ago

Neuralink Barrels Into Human Tests Despite Fraud Claims

spectrum.ieee.org

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Neuralink Barrels Into Human Tests Despite Fraud Claims

spectrum.ieee.org

ylai@lemmy.ml to Technology@lemmy.mlEnglish · 1 year ago
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Elon Musk misled investors about brain chip testing, lawmakers allege
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  • Joshua Nozzi@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Early, undocumented, mass implantation in human subjects WOULD explain some of the fanboyism of late…

    • floofloof@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      It would explain some of Elon Musk’s weird twitchy body language too. But there are other possible explanations.

      • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        There is no way that dude isn’t on drugs 24/7.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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          I would probably be on drugs 24/7 too if I had unlimited resources and no way to go broke from my actions.

          • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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            1 year ago

            Heroin has entered the chat

            Did someone say they want drugs 24/7? I can help with that.

            • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Go home heroin, nobody wants you here!

              • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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                1 year ago

                Fine, I will go somewhere where I am appreciated.

                Heroin has left the chat

                • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  *Anticorp slaps Heroin with a large trout.

        • NattyNatty2x4@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          We got any guesses what his go-to cocktail is?

    • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Neurolink = brain stapling?

  • Mike D.@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    If the IEEE (electrical engineering society) is saying something it must be really bad. They rarely if ever get involved in things like this.

  • capital@lemmy.world
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    Neuralink announced in September that it was recruiting volunteers for its human study. Thousands of people have reportedly signed up to receive the brain implant.

    Welp…

    • Random Dent@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Darwinism in action I guess…

    • floofloof@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Why do they want it? What does it actually do?

      • mriguy@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Kills you painfully with a brain infection, I think. I don’t really see the appeal.

      • glimse@lemmy.world
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        Neuralink’s device has a chip that processes and transmits neural signals that could be transmitted to devices like a computer or a phone.

        The company hopes that a person would potentially be able to control a mouse, keyboard or other computer functions like text messaging with their thoughts.

        “First @Neuralink product will enable someone with paralysis to use a smartphone with their mind faster than someone using thumbs,” Musk said in April 2021

        https://www.reuters.com/technology/what-does-elon-musks-brain-chip-company-neuralink-do-2022-12-05/

        • RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml
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          Neuralink’s device has a chip that processes and transmits neural signals that could be transmitted to devices like a computer or a phone.

          Haven’t we already been able to do that with non-invasive EKG sensors strapped to the temples before?

          • tryptaminev 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺@feddit.de
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            yeah, but do you want to have a small ekg device around your head, when daddy elon could be linked up directly to your brain?

          • Aniki 🌱🌿@lemm.eeBanned
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            1 year ago

            There’s consumer level transcranial magnetic stimulation kits you can get.

        • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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          So are these thousands of people disabled? Because that would be the silver lining. I dont think the trials will go well, but I mean thats how desperate these people are. And at least the tech is being worked in some form. But the siccest shit comes out of the worst assholes.

          • glimse@lemmy.world
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            I’d imagine most of the people signing up haven’t actually looked into it and are envisioning Matrix shit or something. Like the thousands of people who signed up for Mars One

            • averagedrunk@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              https://xkcd.com/644/

            • Lodespawn@aussie.zone
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              1 year ago

              Matrix shit? Like being forced to be a drone in a monotonous VR world while their bodies are harvested for energy until they fail? Doesn’t really seem like an aspirational situation but I guess there must be a few Cyphers out there …

              • glimse@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I meant like downloading kung fu knowledge to your brain

              • ohitsbreadley@discuss.tchncs.de
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                1 year ago

                If they’re thinking at all… it’s likely less drone, more “leather trench coat, sleek sunglasses, uzis, katanas, and bullet time”

              • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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                Idk… Seems pretty good if it means I can live in the 90’s again.

          • PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world
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            No. This kind of thing is being worked on by legitimate academic neuroscientists at places like Stanford. They abide by a code of medical and scientific ethics. That’s where this kind of thing is going to come from.

            They’re not going to come from some guy who killed a $44B company by making the stupidest move possible at every decision branch.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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          It probably could do those things, but instead it’ll harvest your thoughts to send advertising keywords to Twitter, and play unskippable ads directly inside of your brain.

          • glimse@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I’ve always wanted to give corporations access to my thoughts

            • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Don’t forget to pay your monthly subscription, or you’ll wake up and discover they’ve turned off your visual cortex rendering you blind until you bring your payment account up to date, plus pay a $47 late fee.

    • PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world
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      Oh, they’re going to get so sued if they actually do this. I’m picturing the window-shatter demo of the cybertruck, but with brains.

      • ArcaneGadget@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m picturing the chip overload from Kingsman.

  • Fades@lemmy.world
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    They’ll die or beg to die just like all of those monkeys

    https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/

    How about you step up and be patient zero Mr phony stark wannabe

  • spacecowboy@sh.itjust.works
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    I wonder how many of those bag lickers that volunteered refused to get the Covid vaccine.

    • bi_tux@lemmy.world
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      But the covid vaccine implanted microchips into people… oh…

  • magnetosphere@kbin.social
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    If only there was a government agency with both the will and the authority to do something. Oh well.

  • katy ✨@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    pls put a monkey killing chip in my brain daddy elon

  • HootinNHollerin@sh.itjust.works
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    No sane, nondisabled person would allow Elon to put anything in their brain

    • Avg@lemm.ee
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      If they are not disabled before, they will soon.

      • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
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        Those NFT bros would probably jump at the first chance.

        It would be good riddance.

        • HootinNHollerin@sh.itjust.works
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          They fall under disabled

  • shiveyarbles@beehaw.org
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    This reminds me of Trump’s contribution to covid " uh can’t you just flash light on it, or drink chlorine?". Just truly brilliant people having world changing ideas. "We’ll surgically implant chips into brains… ignore the dead chimps

  • Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml
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    You can’t install adblocker on neuralink, but thankfully for you, nazi propaganda comes free of charge.

    • ylai@lemmy.mlOP
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      https://fosstodon.org/@jimsalter/110441094176772187

  • IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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    The only way this should be allowed to move forward is if the board of directors all have the procedure done first.

  • atkion@sh.itjust.works
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    Yooo, real life cyberpsychosis just dropped

  • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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    You ready to get a montage reel of people pulling their brains out while screaming, straight from a scifi horror movie?

  • ExLisper@linux.community
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    Can I have two of those?

    • Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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      Yikes, that would make you a scalper in more ways than one.

    • shiveyarbles@beehaw.org
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      Yes you can have a second installed in your butt as backup

  • Ethalia@feddit.ch
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    deleted by creator

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