https://lemmy.nz/post/18610200/13255360

This user describes how most of the women-centered communities on Lemmy were shut down due to harassment of their members.

Another user adds “We need a safe space, but most of the women I know on here don’t have the time or energy to moderate it. And there’s so few of us, it feels like it’s not worth the effort anyway.”

  • spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
    302·
    3 months ago

    relevant discussions:

    this issue of such a massive proportion can only be solved with intention—it’s not getting fixed by accident. recognizing the problem is the first step.

      • Fungah@lemmy.world
        92·
        3 months ago

        I am a male with a penis but it is a very feminine penis and I stand in solidarity with your vagina. In fact,. Ny.penis’ name is Cassandra, which is neither here nor there but it is indeed a fact.

        Being serious for a moment though: I agree with your rational approach here. I have found Lemmy to be more hostile than reddit overall, and while I condemn hostility based on gender or race (I very much applaud hostility based on religion though) I think we NEED THIS SO FUCKING BADLY.

        The entire internet has become a bland cesspool of meaningless garbage. I think the current state of things has proven that what inevitably begins as a laudable attempt to stomp out hhate speech (which I condemn) the window invariably gets wider and wider until meaningful dialogue is silenced.

        We should be very fucking hostile towards Nazis. We should be hostile towards avaricious governments and unchecked human greed. We should be hostile towards proselytization, and anyone that cant understand that freedom FROM religion is as, or more important than, freedom OF religion. And while I can see the need to ban outright calls for violence as being necessary, the ubiquity of iron-clad moderation makes me very concerned about what will happen when there is a legitimate need to react against violent acts from entrenched power systems towards the oppressed.

        While the comments here about “go make your own instance” are dismissive, I do agree with then in spirit. I want to participate in communities that eschew group think and promote real dialoguue. Especially dialogue I don’t agree with.

        The power of the fediverse is that if someone wants to copy the bland corporate safe space that is the rest of the internet there is fuck all stopping them.

      • spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
        84·
        3 months ago

        these aren’t cherry picked? these are quite normal—that’s why i started collecting them because they were so easy to find.

        i respect your expression of experience of not having been on the receiving end of this that much—i will thank you to respect mine!

          • spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
            63·
            3 months ago

            Yeah okay thanks i guess it just comes off really not nice for you to say that.

            if you posted a list of the worst incidents in your experience of abuse, i truly doubt you would love my response to be calling you a cherry picker. even if you don’t mean it, it looks like siding with the abuser. it’s NOT cherry picking to tell my literal own damn story of what i deal with. if you truly mean differently, maybe choose different words

              • spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
                22·
                3 months ago

                This situation seems to have spiraled a bit—I logged off for a few hours and came back to a bunch of DMs from you.

                I want to make it clear that I don’t have any hard feelings toward you. However, this conversation has reached a point where it’s no longer productive.

                You wouldn’t go to the comments of a person of color as they share their experiences and feelings about racism and say, “I only ever see cherry-picked examples like you have here.” But that’s essentially what you said to me about gender-based abuse. That kind of comment is: a) dismissive and encourages others to doubt the stories of victims, and b) a conversation-ender.

                What you communicated to me is that my lived experience isn’t enough for you. As someone with a normal life and not a researcher, I have no way to provide the additional “data” you seem to require.

    • parrhesia@sh.itjust.works
      101·
      3 months ago

      Hard agree about it being worse then Reddit. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t engage as much as I want to and thinking about going back to Reddit. I’m sure there are people that would like that.

    • Feathercrown@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      3 months ago

      Oh God I remember seeing that “incredible find” comment in the wild and being like, “What the fuck? Who thinks like that?”