I feel like she did the best she could. We weren’t close but I don’t feel traumatized by it, and I enjoyed having kids. When she died, the priest was asking my sister for some adjectives to describe my mom for the eulogy and suggested “nurturing” and my sister laughed and said no, not really. And she WAS close with mom, it wasn’t an insult just an observation. We weren’t neglected, certainly not by the standards of the time. And I was so close with my dad, and he died when I was a teenager so I’m glad I got that time with him.
The ex of my husband loved babies, little kids, was a cuddly sort of mom to babies but was an abusive nightmare of a mother to the older kids, like they don’t even talk to her now. He said she loved them only as long as they couldn’t talk back or be their own person - I think that’s so very much worse.
I feel like she did the best she could. We weren’t close but I don’t feel traumatized by it, and I enjoyed having kids. When she died, the priest was asking my sister for some adjectives to describe my mom for the eulogy and suggested “nurturing” and my sister laughed and said no, not really. And she WAS close with mom, it wasn’t an insult just an observation. We weren’t neglected, certainly not by the standards of the time. And I was so close with my dad, and he died when I was a teenager so I’m glad I got that time with him.
The ex of my husband loved babies, little kids, was a cuddly sort of mom to babies but was an abusive nightmare of a mother to the older kids, like they don’t even talk to her now. He said she loved them only as long as they couldn’t talk back or be their own person - I think that’s so very much worse.